BASEMENT PHOTOSHOOTS & PARKING LOT DRESSING ROOMS
I've been feeling very nostalgic lately.
Like VERY nostalgic.
It's the kind of feeling that seeps into my dreams, creating strange scenes with old high school friends and distantly familiar faces, bringing me back to my small childhood town as if I'm re-watching parts of my favourite movie. It's the kind that glues my gaze to my laptop screen, as I spend hours on end browsing through photos from the archives of my young adolescent life, reminiscing about cherished moments in years past. I've been feeling nostalgic in a way that I've probably felt before but never took the time to put into words.
I could blame these feelings on the wild & unsettling year we just experienced. I could even put the fault on the fact that I haven't seen my family in what feels like forever or been back to my hometown since I left it nearly three years ago. I just had a birthday...maybe it's because of that. Whatever the reason, I've been fortunate to find some comfort in looking back. Better yet, it's made me appreciate where I've been & lit up the excitement for where I'm headed!
As I connect the dots that were drawn in my childhood, I begin to see the bigger picture.
The first dots in my "big picture" were created at home. I remember doing photoshoots in my basement with literally anyone who would dress up with me. Sisters, cousins, friends, neighbours, babysitters...you name it. The basement was my creative playground. Whether it was a badly lit photoshoot taken with my shitty metallic-pink digital camera, or a themed catwalk featuring looks from the dress-up box, or a full-on backyard music video production, I loved everything from getting dressed up, to being in front of a camera feeling cute as hell. Creation & self-expression were a result of pure enjoyment & play...an abundant amount of time & energy helped too. This is how it started.
I found my spark in dance. As I started to grow out of my shy & lanky twelve-year-old self, dance enabled me to step into a creative space, gain some confidence & hone my own unique expression. It was an integral part of my self-development & definitely made me the woman I am today. I fell in love with movement, music & rhythm. I fell in love with the costumes, the community & the glitter. I fell in love with the stage, the audience & the performance. I fell in love with pushing artistic boundaries & making a statement. But above all, I fell in love with the idea of creating a whole world for others to step into, even if only for a moment. I didn't know it back then but I can sure see it now, while I was simply doing things that made me happy, I was plotting dots all over my big picture & creating the blueprint for a masterpiece.
The photos that are featured in this entry were taken by my friend Mona, back when I had a head full of hair & we were both fresh out of high school. She had a camera, I had a car & our hometown had a few good spots to shoot. Projects like these had the sole purpose of creating something cool & utilizing all that was available to us as small-town eighteen-year-olds. The parking lot became a dressing room, the rearview mirror a vanity & the streets a set. Half of the fun was running around the city, searching for the right spot, leaving traces of glitter & bobby pins along the way. The other was seeing how many side glances could be made by common passerby, as I found myself posing in downtown alleyways & bowling alley lots. We created a whole little world that day. Along with it came SpaceGirl.
Each shoot, each performance & each creation has a character - a vision that emerges. These characters have made their mark on me over the many years of wild ideas & passionate projects. But more importantly, they each embody a certain time of my life, a distinct part of my growth, or a single spot in my connect-the-dots colouring sheet. These creations are not just a persona or a role, they're a reflection of me as a whole creative, dynamic & emotional being. As I continue to create, learn & evolve, these will be the landmarks I look back on when I’m in need of a little inspiration & direction.
There may not be an actual blueprint for our lives, there may not even be a connect-the-dots colouring book version. Regardless, I do believe there's something special about discovering what you like when you're a kid & finding out the ways you can continue to do it as an adult! Playing dress-up & make-believe games as a young girl not only gave me one hell of a pastime but ignited a creative passion that would follow me well into my adulthood. Although I'll always be a little nostalgic for the good old days of basement photoshoots & playing pretend, I hold onto these fond memories & try as best as I can to find a little play in each day.
xx C
PHOTOGRAPHY: MONA ABEDELKERIM @lilegyptian
STYLING + MODELING: CELINE BLAIS @babycealion
OUTFIT ANTHEM: UNWRITTEN BY NATASHA BEDINGFIELD
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